IB is sO rude to me pls send help (school life update 2)

-- date : september 25th, 2018, 11:34 PM
-- song of the day : dying in LA by panic! at the disco // every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you
-- currently looking forward to : i'm volunteering at a park this saturday oof

hey friends !

ha ha ha y'all remember when i said i thought i was doing fine this school year? yeah i think i lied sldjskjdks.
oh how i wish i could go back in time..... life's just been... a Lot. idek how to process it all bc. it feels like im allllways working on shit

like every second im not studying or doing school work is a waste
every second i spend not thinking about the next big thing
every second i spend having a mental breakdown bc i just feel so overwhelmed (ive already had Two whole ass crying sessions this week' BOTH for rlly terrible and trivial reasons)
useless.
no room to really think about my feelings and plan anymore. because why do that when you should be working?

but u know what. i think that's what made me mcfreakin lose it last year. always working, lack of self care, etc. i gotta remove all these toxic thoughts in my head and actually try to take care of myself.... and it's been a slow process.
i really hope i can make it though.

this is just a life / school update since idk what other topics i wanna talk about that deserves to be blogged. i do have a few ideas but i think i'll wait until i have the actual Energy to do so lmao

sorry for disappearing for a while btw

i feel sleepy now. night
x ainsley

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